Hard To Love

The whole reason I wanted to start this blog, and my main goal in life is to listen to peoples' stories. I want people to hear my stories, and I want to inspire people to share their's. I truly believe everyone deserves to be heard, and I can't stand when people begin to make assumptions about others, especially about me, when they have no idea what that person has been through or why they are the way they are. Everyone is different, and we have no right to judge someone because they are different than us. You may be thinking someone is so strange for doing something a certain way, but you know what, they are probably thinking the same thing about you. We have to learn to deal with, understand, and accept people for who they are. God didn't intend for everyone to have the same personality.

All that being said I would like to focus on the introverts of the world. We (yes, in case you are completely clueless, or you do not know me I am an introvert) are so misunderstood and many times looked down on. I hope after reading this you understand and accept us a little bit better.

To get a definition and a little sense of what an introvert actually is, here is what Urban Dictionary has to say about them:

"A person who is energized by spending time alone. . . Contrary to popular belief, not all introverts are shy. Some may have great social lives and love talking to their friends but just need some time to be alone to "recharge" afterwards. The word "Introvert" has negative connotations that need to be destroyed. Introverts are simply misunderstood because the majority of the population consists of extroverts."

As an introvert I have been misunderstood by many people and that's the main reason I wanted to do this post. My friends, and even my family, don't quite understand my personality at times. Introverts can come across as push offish or even flat out mean. However, just because we don't want to come in the room and say hi to everyone or start chatting away about our day that doesn't mean those things. It simply means we are an introvert, and we need alone time. We need quiet. We need solitude. But just because we need those things it doesn't mean we hate people. 

We enjoy spending time with those we love, but only for so long. It physically and emotionally takes a lot out of us and we have to be able to recharge after a certain length of time. We tend to not make friends as easily or as quickly as extroverts do, but thats because we put a lot of time and effort into it. We don't want to be friends with just anyone. We want our friends to understand how much we love and care for them. We want to get to know someone truly and fully before allowing them into our lives. And if you are lucky enough to become one of those people we pray we don't scare you off with our different personality traits. I titled this post "Hard To Love" because people tend to run away from us. We can seem difficult to deal with, so many just rather not. I want people, including myself, to realize others are different, but we all need love and to show love. Sometimes we just do it in different ways. Extroverts are fun, energetic people, and without them in the world things would get boring. However, without the introverts things could get out of hand. Luckily God made everyone a little different. As an introvert it can be hard for me to understand why people like being loud and go out all the time. I enjoy spending my time at home alone, not because I am depressed or lonely but because it's calming and I enjoy it. So for someone not to be like that is foreign to me, so I completely understand why people think its insane to do what I like to do. All I hope is for people to understand that it is ok that people don't do the same things as you. It's ok I don't like going out, and it's ok that you do. It's ok I like being quiet, and it's ok you enjoy talking. 

I saw this cartoon one day, and I just thought how perfectly it explained my life. This is the perfect guide to how to deal with my kind. I wanted to add my thoughts on it as well though.

Introverts live with a constant bubble around them. The key to dealing with that is respecting it.

This post isn't meant to say extroverts are evil. Extroverts are great people, but they are VERY different than introverts. However, it literally can terrify us when extroverts push their personalities onto us.

9/10 times we will not start the conversation. We enjoy talking at times, but we also don't enjoy pointless talking. 

Like I said above, we love people just give us time.

Give, Save, Spend

I know a majority of you have heard these 3 words and probably even know who they came from. I have grown up my whole life hearing them over, and over, and OVER. Good ole Darryl (my father) raised my brother and me on these words. These words are the reason I was able to pay for half of my first vehicle at 15. These words are why almost every Christmas I am able to give a child who is less fortunate than me a Christmas present. These words are the reason I already have a retirement fund set up at 18, and one day will hopefully be able to support my future family. The words are why my parents have been so able to give my brother and me a financially stable life. The words are why I am able to attend college without loans and debt. None of what I say in this blog post is to brag or boast about money, but to share why these words are so important to me, and why I hope you will find them important to you as well.

Well if you don't know who these words come from it's Dave Ramsey. My dad is crazy about the man. He is a very strong believer in saving money, and in general handling money wisely. Growing up my dad would give my brother and me a monthly chore sheet. This sheet had items on it like make the bed, clean the dishes, take the trash out, wash the parents' cars, mop the floors, etc. Each chore was not mandatory. However, if we did a chore we put a check mark next to it and the day we did it. Each chore was worth a different amount of money. Making our bed would have been like $0.50. Then washing our parents' cars would be like $10. Every month my goal was to get more money than my brother. I am a very competitive person. At the end of the month my dad would add everything up and give us the money we earned. It didn't stop there though. We couldn't simply take all the money and go have fun with it. That would be way too easy. We each had 3 envelopes labeled GIVE, SAVE, and SPEND. My dad instructed us to put at least 10% of our earnings into give, for our tithes. Our give could also be used for something like I mentioned above, supplying a child with a christmas present. Then we put at least 15% into our save. Every so often my dad would take our save and put it into the bank for later use. This money was for saving up for our first car or any other big item we couldn't buy right away. The rest of our money we could put into spend, and we could use this any time we pleased. We did this for years. Eventually we stopped with the chore sheets as we got older. The money we separate out now is from holidays or the jobs we have. No matter what though, if we get money we always separate it out.

Growing up this way got on my nerves a lot of times. If I earned $30 I didn't want to only end up being able to spend at max $22.50. I felt like if I earned the whole $30 I should get the whole $30. As I got older though I have realized the importance of this method. Although part of this method was because my dad wanted what was best for us and wanted us financially secure, but doing this has so much more meaning as well.

In the Old Testament God tells us to tithe, to give him 10% of everything we earn. Then in the New Testament Jesus instructs us to give as much as we are able, and that's exactly what my father was teaching us. Giving doesn't just mean with money. We are to give our time; to the church, to the needy, to our loved ones. My father wanted us to realize everything we receive ultimately comes from God, and God just trusts us to be good stewards with it. He wanted us to realize even if we are the poorest of poor or the richest of riches we owe something to God. Nothing is possible without him.

By saving money I began feeling accomplished. I was able to see my hard work unfold before my eyes. My parents told my brother and me we could have any car we wanted; if we could afford half of it. Whatever money we decided we could spend on a car our parents would match it. At 15 I was able to do this, and I felt on top of the world. There is so much joy in getting something you worked hard for, and that was my dads point. He didn't tell us we had to save money just because he didn't want us to go broke. He did it to teach us when we work hard and we are diligent about something we get rewarded. That could be in money, academics, working, etc. He has never wanted us to be people who get handed everything. It has always been important to him that we are independent, strong, hardworking, and able to support ourselves. Now these things are very important to me, and I hope one day to pass them onto my children.

It is always important to not get wrapped up in the worldly view of money. Money is not everything. Money doesn't bring you happiness. Yes, money is very important in life, but it is not everything. If you have the mindset of becoming the richest man alive and doing anything and everything possible to get there, you will fail. Ultimately my father wanted to teach us how to be rich in happiness, successfulness, helpfulness, obedience, and so much more. And by following these 3 words that was all possible. It's not just about the money; it's about learning from the money.