Rhabdo: It's Just An Obstacle

First visit my sweet boyfriend thought it would
be a great idea to bring me an Ariel sized Ariel balloon.

First off I guess I should tell you what Rhabdomyolysis (Rhabdo) is.

Definition Rhabdomyolysis- rhab·do·my·ol·y·sis (rab'dō-mī-ol'i-sis)

An acute, fulminating, potentially fatal disease of skeletal muscle that entails destruction of muscle, as evidenced by myoglobinemia and myoglobinuria.

Ok, yes I know that probably makes no sense to you, but I will explain in simpler terms. First, I have to start at the beginning. Starting around January of this year my mom and I decided we would hit the gym hard to try to get in shape. We were even sticking to a great meal plan, and I had started feeling amazing. And so did she. We had a personal trainer that we met with 2 times a week, and she was awesome! She really encouraged us, (and pushed us to the point of tears sometimes) but we felt like we were really accomplishing a lot. In April we attended a session on a Thursday, and when I woke up Friday morning I could not straighten my arms. Along with that they hurt worse than any normal soreness pain should. They also started swelling, so I literally got swole from that workout lol. Of course my mom, being the amazing woman she is, laughed at me. She thought if a 47 year old woman could do the workout and not be sore the next day then an 18 year old shouldn't either. DUH! By Saturday everyone was tired of hearing me complain, so they decided to do the normal thing and google my symptoms. Y'all can't tell me you've never done that. Anyway, Rhabdomyolysis popped up, and I had almost all the symptoms. My parents immediately freaked out because they read that it can be fatal if not treated right away. The next morning, they finally decided to take me to the ER. At first none of the doctors wanted to believe this was possible. The ER doctor had never seen it but one other time, and at my age and stature he couldn't believe it was possible.

Your CPK is the enzyme that leaks into your body when your muscles are damaged. The average count that should be in your body at any given time is around 100. When I was in the ER the doctors drew my blood, and the results that came back said my CPK count was at a baffling 64,000. I indeed had Rhabdomyolysis. I was then admitted and proceeded to stay in the hospital for 5 days while IV after IV was pumped into me to flush my body out. I was extremely lucky and had no kidney damage at all. My doctor told me after 6-8 weeks off I should be able to return back to the gym, and everything would be back to normal.

8 weeks later I was thrilled to be back doing what I had grown to love. It was always a great bonding time with my mom, and it made me feel all around fantastic. My trainer was aware of my condition and made sure not to make the workout too difficult, but we also thought since we waited the time that everything should be okay. After the third session, I woke up the next morning again with the same symptoms as before. I was terrified at first because I just couldn't believe this was happening all over again. Then I became extremely angry because the doctors had promised nothing was going to be wrong. I am a normal teenager; I should be able to physically do whatever I want. We went to the hospital a day sooner than we did the first time, so my CPK levels were much lower (still extremely abnormal) with a count of 27,000. I spent another 5 days in the hospital with this round as well. The doctors were confused with why I was facing this insane condition a second time. The hospitalist deciding to send me to a neurologist in our hometown when I got out. The neurologist gave me one option, which might or might not supply answers to my condition. I could do a painful procedure (muscle biopsy) that MIGHT tell me I have an enzyme deficiency that I could do absolutely nothing about. If this was to be the case than I could only walk and ride a bike without exerting myself for the rest of my life. No gym. No tubing at the lake. No backyard baseball. Absolutely nothing that might over exert my muscles and send me into another rhabdo episode. When I heard this news I was devastated. I love being active and just having fun being young. The worst part was knowing I could have something wrong with me, and there be absolutely nothing I could do about it. I am a control freak. I can't stand not being organized and having everything planned out just the way I want it. This was a big fat ugly black spot in the middle of my perfectly white and clean scheduled life. At least thats how I felt. 

Second visit I was able to celebrate
the 4th of July thanks to friends and family!

Rhabdo isn't the end of the world. Rhabdo didn't kill me. Rhabdo is simply an obstacle life threw at me that I have to work through. I am so extremely blessed. I am overall a very healthy teenager. I have an amazing support system. I am still able to attend college, have a job, make friends, be in a relationship, and do so many other things that some people can't do. I am not dying. I am not in horrible pain every day of my life. I am not throwing up sick from chemo treatments. I simply have to know my limits and not push myself over them. Yes, this means I can't do everything I love, but thats ok. It is important, no matter your circumstance, to realize there is most likely always someone out there that has it worse than you. It is important to help those people, and to pray for those people. It isn't all about me. I have to put my selfish desires aside and realize that I have it made still. Like I've said before, things can get hard but you just have to get through those things to get to the happiness. I have been able to find other things that make me happy. I love staying fit by occasionally doing (easy) yoga, walking my dogs, and (trying to) eat healthy and drink yummy smoothies. Its easy to focus on what I can't do anymore. I have to remember to realize what I can still do. Someone else may not be able to do yoga, eat whatever they want, or walk their dog.